Everything fell out of control so quickly. One minute I'm laughing to my friends about how we can get away with robbery, the next minute I'm sitting in the Dean's office getting suspended from school. Wow, all good things do come to an end.
After my suspension, I came back with teachers completed surprised I was the same girl that set quietly in class and did her work without a complaint. I couldn't even look in the mirror without constantly asking myself, "who, even, are you?" I didn't even recognize my own voice because my head spoke for me in my moments of silence when someone asked me, "Jay, is this your last shot?" head nods and silent smirks spoke when I was to messed up by the drugs to even say a word.
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I never really ate, marijuana became the food, vodak became every drink, I just loved the way it felt, the burning of having an empty stomach and still risking taking another sip, thinking, "I won't get drunk, just a little more and all these thoughts of no self worth will probably go away." and want to know something? The thoughts did pass, but so did my sanity.